Anxiety. It will not define me. Christ defines me.
Anxiety and depression have been my Goliath my whole life. Earlier this year, it almost won.
It was my darkest hour. I was convinced that I was dying but my Prince of Peace kept whispering truth to my spirit.
“Therefore the sister sent to Him, saying,
‘Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick.’
When Jesus heard that, He said,
‘This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.’
Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.”
John 11:3-5
The Lord showed me what I am made of. In my weakness, He is strong.
I laid and wept at His feet, in complete brokenness and bitterness. In the heartbreaking moments, He wept with me.
“Then, when Mary came where Jesus was, and saw Him, she fell down at His feet, saying to Him, ‘Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.’
Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. And He said, ‘Where have you laid him?’” John 11:32-33
“Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, ‘See how He loved him!’” John 11:35-36
This valley was not walked alone, He was carrying me. We tend to forget that our Father does not just sit on the throne, overlooking His creation. He walks right beside us, using the darkness to make His light shine brighter. Others see this light radiating off His children, when we let Him take over and move in ways we do not always comprehend.
I still face battles with anxiety but I’m grateful. Without it, I would not have seen or experienced the closeness and power of
God’s love
as deeply. Beauty from ashes. What I do know, for certain, is that He will not let it consume me or triumph over my life.
“Now when He had said these things, He cried with a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come forth!’” John 11:43
As I look back, I see how my Maker has shaped me and molded me into the person I am today. The blessings that would not have happened without the hard seasons in my life. It’s a roller coaster but one thing remains constant, my Savior never leaves, nor forsakes me.
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about the Lord walking with us.